Letter to $enator $ham

Dear $enator $ham:

     I have been reading the headlines in our newspapers and I notice a recurring theme. There is always a "war on" something or other. For example, War on Terror, War on Drugs, War on Poverty,War on Corruption, War on Crime, etc.
     Tell me, $enator, have any of these government-initiated wars been won? Will the American people continue to have "war on" forever?
     If your answer to the last question is Yes, can you and other $enators at least substitute "more on" for "war on?" Perhaps you could go one step further. Sign your press releases "Moron."

     Sincerely,
     Constituent Jeff Paine