How Much Is A Smile Worth?

 

     Would you believe 8 million kronor, or $1.2 million dollars? That will be the award given by the Shadow Nobel Prize Committee to Cortland's Mayor Brian Tobin on December 10, 2012 at a ceremony to be held in Roswell, New Mexico.
     Mayor Tobin won the Best Smile on Earth award based on several photos published during his 2011 mayoral campaign. The committee did not look at his cute baby pictures, although several were submitted by his parents. It seems that Brian Tobin won despite a dissenting committee voter--an alien called Humphrey Bogart DeMond. DeMond said that he voted against Tobin because he believed Tobin's smile was "disingenuous and designed to influence voters."
     Mayor Tobin was officially notified by an extraterrestrial visitor at his home in Cortland on Friday, October 12, 2012. His response to the ghostly image was immediate: "Is this a joke? Is this an early Halloween prank?" When he was informed that it was not a joke, he asked: "How much is the award?" He was told $1.2 million dollars.
     Contacted by the Cortland Contrarian, Mayor Tobin confirmed that he is the recipient of the Best Smile on Earth award, and he said that he will donate all of the money that he receives to his favorite charity--Smile Train.
     A troublemaker at the Cortland Contrarian contacted former Mayor Tom Gallagher and asked for his opinion of the Best Smile award. Gallagher claimed that he has the best smile* in Cortland, and that the Shadow Nobel Prize Committee obviously made a mistake in judgment, or has come under the influence of young female Democrats--political groupies--who adore Brian Tobin.
     You be the judge.

Tom Gallagher

 

Brian Tobin

 

* Best Smile in Cortland.

 

Worst. Prize. Ever.