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| The Little Hunter (painting by Karl Witkowski) |
CORTLAND AND VICINITY.
Prof. J. M. Cassety has been in town this week engaged in preparing to
remove his household goods to Albany.
No
one would suppose from reading the columns of the Standard that there is
a Normal school located anywhere in this vicinity.
Mrs.
Middaugh and Miss Bush have each begun the erection of a house on Prospect
street, and Mr. J. D. Keeler one on Owego street.
Miss Elizabeth Lamb,
Normal graduate, class of June, '82, has taken charge of the primary department
of the public school at Union, Broome county.
Mrs. L. Doyle has taken rooms in the Calvert
Block for the purpose of conducting the business of dress-making. Ladies
desiring dresses, cloaks, etc., made tastefully and skillfully will certainly find
Mrs. Doyle very proficient.
Senator Miller is doing effective work in
the campaign. Every evening sees him addressing large, enthusiastic gatherings at
some one of the central places of the State. Saturday night he speaks at Homer,
and as usual a crowd will be there to hear him.
The street car and Miller's omnibus line
will be run on Saturday evening to accommodate those who wish to attend the
Republican meeting at Homer, to be addressed by Senator Miller and others. The
car will leave Cortland at 6 o'clock and again at 7.
Mr. George J. Maycumber, deputy county
clerk, has formed a co-partnership with Mr. Jas. M. Maybury in the insurance
business and will begin on the first of January, 1883, to take an active part
therein. Jim and Jack deal on the square and they represent the best companies.
The use of the rubber sling in the hands of
mischievous boys has become so dangerous, so much harm has resulted therefrom,
that the trustees have wisely passed an ordinance prohibiting its use, and
prescribing a penalty of five dollars, or of imprisonment, or both, for each
offense.
The "Professor," the play which
the Madison Square Theatre gives us tonight, at Taylor Hall, is a farcical
comedy, and tells how a young college professor, ignorant of the ways of the world
and of society, gets into all sorts of odd complications with half a dozen young
ladies, all of whom, because of his wealth, want to marry him. This was given
151 times in New York and over 400 times throughout the country and thousands
have laughed over the eccentricities of this odd character.
And still the beautiful weather continues. The
oldest inhabitant does not remember the like.
McGrawville is having something to talk
about in the way of a sensation that is rather startling. Mrs. Lorenzo Tarbell
says that her well has been poisoned, and has put some of the water thereof,
containing a whitish substance, in the hands of Dr. Hendrick to be analyzed. And
Mr. Lorenzo Tarbell, husband of the former, but living apart from her, claims
that one morning his bedroom window was raised and a revolver fired at him as
he lay in bed, but without hitting him. The matter is being investigated.
Hon. Harmon S. Conger died at Milwaukee, Wis.,
last Monday, aged 66 years. He was a native of Freetown, received his education
at Cortland Academy, was a lawyer by profession, for two terms represented this
district in Congress, and previous to his removal West carried on a mercantile
business in this village, his store being in the wooden building which stood
where the Garrison Block now stands and his residence being that now occupied
by Mrs. Samuel Keator. He was tall and dignified in appearance, and by his uprightness and ability won the esteem
of all who knew him.
By reference to the corporation proceedings published
this week our citizens will see that the village trustees have passed a highly
commendable resolution, and that is, instructing the village constables to
disperse or arrest street loafers. The gathering of these gentry along the
sidewalks to the annoyance of passers-by has become such an unmitigated
nuisance that severe measures are necessary, and in common with all orderly
people we are glad to see such steps taken by the trustees and hope there will
be no delay in enforcing the resolution whenever necessary to correct the evil.
It is claimed for the Syracuse and Binghamton
division of the D. L. & W. railroad that it is the best piece of railroad in
the United States. The road was ballasted with unusual care, and the rails are
as smooth as a house floor. There is no rocking or bounding of the coaches;
they run as smoothly as a bicycle over a parlor floor, and the traveler in the
night time is not conscious of the high rate of speed which a train makes. Superintendent
Niver has made a national reputation for himself among railroad men, and the
public all along the line are proud of it. The entire road through to New York
shows what can be accomplished when an effort is made to make a smooth road.
The coaches are always very neat and clean, and the sleeper service is not
surpassed on any road. All train men are courteous, and at this season of the
year the scenery along the road is magnificent.—Syr. Journal.
That is just what every person will say who rides over the road.
That is just what every person will say who rides over the road.
CORPORATION
PROCEEDINGS.
Special meeting of the board of trustees held
at Fireman's Hall October 23, 1882; present—I. H. Palmer, president; C. C.
Taylor, H. Wells. G. W. Bradford and D. E. Smith, trustees.
The collector reported the payment to the
treasurer, with his receipts therefor, of several sums amounting in the aggregate
to the sum of $23,571.41 and asked for an extension of time for the collection
of the remainder of the taxes.
Resolved, That the time for the
collection of taxes be extended thirty days, and the collector's warrant
therefor be continued in force until the evening of the 22d day of November,
1882.
On motion of Mr. Bradford, the following was
unanimously adopted:
VILLAGE ORDINANCE.
The use of rubber slings in the streets, lanes,
alleys and public places in the village of Cortland in hurling or throwing missiles
is hereby prohibited. Any person convicted of hurling or throwing missiles with
a rubber sling shall be punished by a fine of not less than five dollars and
costs of arrest and prosecution, or imprisonment in the county jail of Cortland
county for a period of ten days, or both such fine and imprisonment in the
discretion of the court.
Resolved, That the sheriff of
Cortland county and all constables of the town of Cortlandville are
hereby authorized and requested to arrest any and all persons found violating
the foregoing ordinance, and to disperse all tumultuous assemblages of boys and
other persons in the village of Cortland. The officer making such arrest shall be
entitled to the same fee or compensation as is allowed by law for the arrest of
an intoxicated person, to be paid out of the treasury of said village.
Resolved, That the clerk procure
the publication of the foregoing ordinance and resolution, and the printing of twenty-five
posters containing the same and to post the same in three or more public places
of the village.
The president was directed to request the
Cortland Machine Company to make the roof of their building secure against fire.
The chief engineer of the fire department was
authorized to procure the framing of six copies of the ordinance creating the
fire department of the village, and have them deposited in the several rooms of
Fireman's Hall for preservation and convenient reference.
Resolved, That the sidewalk in front of the premises
occupied by S. W. Cately, on the west side of North Church street, be repaired,
and that all broken, rotten or defective planks or stringers therein be
replaced by new lumber, said walk to be repaired within thirty days from
service of notice.
The president presented proof of service upon
the president of the S. B. & N. Y. R. R. of the ordinance in regard to
Railroad street, which was ordered on file.
On motion, meeting adjourned.
JONATHAN HUBBARD, Clerk.
TRUE GENIUS.
Hon. W. H. Clark is a man of true genius. He
bolts his party and then calls upon the majority to resign. It is easy to get
control when the majority have resigned. Clark asked Judge Smith to resign his
judgeship; he asked the majority of the Local Board of the Normal school to
resign; he thought the pastor of the M. E. church should resign; he asked the
Assembly to resign when it laughed at his maiden speech in it; he asked Wayne
county to resign, and now he asks that the regular Republican county committee
resign. Oh, Clark's a genius!
THE DISAPPOINTED
CANDIDATE.
The candidate who got left at the County
Convention can be told by the way he grasps your hand, braces himself against
his gurgling emotion, and whisperingly inquires:
"Did you ever hear of a case like it?"
You never did.
You tell him that you never did, and he
pulls you into a doorway and continues:
"I am done with politics forever!"
"No!"
"Yes, I am, and with the party, too!"
"You don't say!"
"Oh, but I am. This thing has satisfied
me that there is no such thing as honesty in politics, and that a politician has
no more word than a dog. I was sold out."
“Possible!"
"Sold out and lied out! They used money
to beat me. They lied about me. They played hypocrite and knave. Here I have
served the party for nineteen years and never asked for an office, and the
minute I decide to accept the nomination for a little fifteen-cent position
they go to work and beat me in convention with a wooden-head who
doesn't know enough to
mark a barrel of pork. Corruption, sir—cor-rup-shun--and the whole ticket will
be defeated on account of it.
“And the best of it is he takes you for a
man that isn't posted. He doesn't believe you have the slightest idea that he
packed three or four caucuses, bought a dozen delegates, told three lies to the
other man's one, and was beaten because his delegates sold out. He takes you for
an innocent, and grasps your hand again at parting and chokingly says:
"Corruption—vile corruption! Most barefaced
fraud in American politics! Can't train with a party upheld by the practice of
such principles—can't possibly do it."—Detroit Free Press.
A Successful Practical Joke.
A
correspondent of the Boston Transcript declares that Mr. James Russell
Lowell once made up his mind to play a joke upon the Atlantic Monthly,
and to that end wrote an article called the "Essence of American Humor,"
which was said by the friends to whom he read it to be among the best of his
writings. "He employed some one to copy it," says the correspondent, "and
signed it 'W. Perry Paine,' and sent it to the Atlantic with the request
that, as it was a maiden effort, the editor would give an opinion in writing to
said Paine. He waited a fortnight, but heard nothing from his paper, when,
being in Boston, he dropped into the office of the Atlantic, and,
meeting James T. Fields, adroitly turned the conversation upon humor, and
remarked it was singular so little was written upon the subject. Fields
replied: ' We get a great deal of manuscript on humor, but it is so poor
that we cannot use it. I threw into the waste-basket the other day a long screed
christened the "Essence of American Humor," which should have been styled
the "Essence of Nonsense," for a more absurd farrago of stuff I have
never seen.' Lowell, much to the surprise of the editor, burst into a roar of
laughter and informed Mr. Fields of the authorship of the article. The editor
turned all colors and swore it was one of Lowell's jokes. 'Indeed it is,'
responded Lowell, ‘and the best joke I ever played. I never thought highly of
my scribbling, but, by Jove! I didn't believe it was the most ridiculous
farrago of stuff you had ever seen.' By way of self-defense, Fields declared he
did not read the thing, but that he did not believe that a man who signed his
first name with the initial and the second full could write for the Atlantic.
That was about as ingenious an excuse as he could make for his
partiality!"
References:
Madison Square Theatre: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madison_Square_Theatre
William Gillette: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Gillette
Karol Witkowski: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karol_D._Witkowski
Slingshots: http://nicos-resorterablog.blogspot.com/
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