NEWSPAPER PUBLISHER IS BRAGGING AGAIN

The Cortland Democrat, Friday, July 8, 1887.

Bragging Again.

   The editor of the Cortland Standard is shaking hands with himself again and seems to be mightily pleased over the operation. Last week he told a whopper in regard to the circulation and amount of reading matter contained in his own and the other papers published in the county and this week he repeats the operation. He claims now to give more inches of reading matter than any other paper published in the county, which is true, but he forgets to tell his readers, that it takes about three inches of his type to make two inches of reading matter set in the type used on the DEMOCRAT, and that the latter really contains more reading matter than any paper published in the county, which is also true.

   But quantity has very little to do with a county newspaper. What people want is quality and that is something they look in vain for in the columns of the Standard.

   Large type counts up pretty fast without containing much news. It would be well for our neighbor to remember that what people want in these days is all the news in as condensed a form as it is possible to get it. When he realizes this fact and puts it in practice, he will not be forced to pat himself on the back and brag over the possession of what he has the least of.

   The Standard quotes from Rowell's Newspaper Reporter on circulation, with the intention of showing from that wholly unreliable publication, that he has the largest circulation in the county. Any wicked newspaper man can have his circulation rated in that publication at any amount he chooses, while the circulation of other journals is often put far too low for the express purpose of getting low prices for advertising. The Standard is in a position to know that its rating in Rowell’s Reporter is far too high, while the DEMOCRAT is rated at fully 500 less than it is entitled to. It is a noticeable fact that the Standard omits to compare its circulation or advertising patronage with the Monitor. It evidently did not dare to tackle that lively sheet for fear of the consequences.

Trotting Over the Bridge.

   The Marathon Independent is slightly ruffled—not too much, but just enough— because we recently characterized the river bridge in that place as a "pet" institution. Speaking of this particular bridge always reminds us of a story in connection with it, which we heard several years ago and which, with or without the permission of the reader, we propose to relate.

   Soon after the bridge was completed, a citizen of a neighboring town drove to Marathon and was compelled to drive over the bridge in order to reach the Marathon House, where he proposed to stop for an hour or two before he returned home. It was pretty evident to all who saw him, as he approached the bridge, that he had stopped at every hotel on his way [for a drink—CC editor] since he left home. Unmindful of the "large and conspicuous signs' he drove across the bridge at a smart trot, only to be collared by an officer on the opposite side of the bridge, who demanded two dollars.

   "What for?" asked the disciple of John Barleycorn.

   "For driving over our bridge faster than a walk" replied the officer.

   The offender at once handed over the required amount and as the officer was about to retire, called to him and produced another two dollar bill which he tendered to the official.

   This time it was the latter's turn to ask, "What for?"

   "I'm going home by-me-bye and I shall probably want to trot over the bridge again," was the offender's reply as he drove on to the Marathon House, and having paid for the privilege in advance he did trot over it on his return home.

   Allen had to pay $12 and costs for trotting over the bridge a few days since. [Reported at an earlier date—CC editor.] If this price advances as rapidly for the next ten years as it has the last, it would be well for outsiders to tie their horses to a post and swim the stream.

   Meanwhile residents of Marathon will be permitted to trot over our river bridge with as heavy a load as their horses are able to haul. The difference in price may probably be accounted for from the fact that Allen is a temperance man and the other was not, although he has since become a shining light in that order.

HERE AND THERE.

   The thermometer registered 98 in the shade in this place, last Friday, and at 9:30 on Saturday it stood for over an hour at 100.

   One day last week "Chat" Peters, a sable citizen, caused the arrest of Ed Reed, also colored, whom he charged with assaulting him.

   A quiet party will take place at Floral Trout Ponds this Friday evening. Music by Clark's orchestra. Conveyances will run to and from the Park.

   The Marathon Independent says that the thermometer registered 120 in that village, one day last week. The Salvation Army will have a tough job there.

   The Marathon Independent is our authority for saying that the belles of that village take advantage of the moonlight evenings to bathe in the sparkling waters of the Tioughnioga.

   During the storm of last Saturday night, lightning struck the house of Charles Fairbanks on the Scott road, in the town of Homer, doing considerable damage. The barns of Moses Courtwright, in the same neighborhood, were also struck by lightning and entirely consumed. Both were insured.

   Addie M. Scott, widow and administratrix of Frank H. Scott, has brought an action against the Hitchcock Manufacturing Company to recover $5,000 damages for the loss of her husband. Scott was killed by the explosion while doing mason work for the company. H. L. Bronson appears for the plaintiff.

   The Homer Wagon Company [H. M. Whitney—CC editor] will occupy the building on Railroad street [Central Avenue], now occupied by the Cortland Omnibus Company, after Sept. 1st next. This company make first class wagons and employ a large number of men. It will prove to be a valuable contribution to the manufacturing interests of Cortland.

   Mr. A. H. Jordan, who was recently appointed postmaster at Taylor Centre, has incurred an additional mail each week. Formerly the mail was carried only twice each week from Truxton to Taylor. Now it goes both ways on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, which will prove to be a great convenience to the people of Taylor Centre, South Cuyler and Cheningo. This is only a sample of what a live Democratic postmaster can do.

   An errand to the post-office to buy postage stamps is of very common occurrence among the young people since the adoption of the free delivery system, yet it is a better excuse than none to meet an "esteemed friend." If they can't find the mail (male), they must have the "stamps." If they can’t have the "stamps" they will sometimes "object" to taking the male. Anyhow, the latter is a necessary adjunct to the former, the "world over."

   Last Monday afternoon, the hen house, which stands near the hotel barns at Glen Haven, was discovered to be on fire. Through the active efforts of several hundred guests the flames were confined to the hen house, which was entirely destroyed. Over two hundred horses were in the barns and they were quickly taken out by their owners, and, after the fire, were returned to the stables. They were so badly mixed however, in placing them back in the stalls, that several guests drove home with animals belonging to others. Exchanges were finally made, so that each came by his own.

   Mr. Charles B. Roethig, who took a life partner on Tuesday last, was the recipient of a very beautiful parlor set, consisting of a tete-a tete, two small chairs, one window chair, one- arm chair, one patent rocker (in different colors), presented by his associates in the wire works, and an elegant student rocker (in petit point, trimmed in plush), by the Odd Fellows. We do not see how any person can fail to take "solid comfort" while reclining in those gorgeous, upholstered pieces of furniture, so substantially made by the skillful hand of Robert Otto, at No. 8 Orchard St., that they will last a lifetime. Verily, they are enough in make any housewife put on a smiling countenance and "sing for joy." "Robert" is turning out none but first class work, and is reaping the reward that usually results from fair dealing and strict attention to business. Otto & Southworth's is a "tip-top" place to buy presents for bridal parties, and they are nice enough to make even an old maid or old bachelor happy.

   Governor Hill has signed the bill which prohibits the catching of trout that are less than six inches in length.

   Adelbert Case, of Cortland, is spending 20 days in durance vile, as a penalty for assaulting his wife, Lillian.

   About 800 people boarded the excursion train at this station last Monday, bound for Sylvan Beach. All who attended were well pleased with the excellent manner in which the excursion was conducted. The Odd Fellows must have added a handsome sum to their treasury.

   The new directory of Homer and Cortland, published by Samuel Parsons, is being delivered to subscribers. It seems to be faithfully and correctly compiled, and will be of great service to all business men. Copies can be obtained of Mr. Parsons, at the Messenger House.

   The house of Arthur Holt, near the cemetery, on Tompkins street, caught fire from a lamp which set fire to the wood work, at 11 o'clock on Wednesday. Notwithstanding the flames were easily extinguished with a few pails of water. Someone gave the alarm and the department turned out to find their services were not needed.

   The editor of the Standard invited everybody to call last Thursday and see his wonderful presses in operation and look over his model printing office. The editor of the DEMOCRAT accepted the invitation, notwithstanding the fact that he expected to be injured in the crush. On arriving at the place of destination, we found that our neighbor had skipped out to Wayne county to avoid the crowd. So far as heard from, the editor of the DEMOCRAT was the only one who called, and he was politely and courteously treated by those in charge. The Standard is a well equipped printing office, and no mistake.

Decision in School Case.

  In the matter of the appeal to the Department of Public Instruction of Alton H. Cowles as teacher and Charles T. Hurlbert as trustee of School District No. 8 at Homer, from the refusal of Gustavus Crofoot as School Commissioner to give said teacher a certificate to teach, the State superintendant has just rendered a decision sustaining the appeal and directing the Commissioner to issue a certificate. William D. Tuttle for appellants, Frank Pierce for respondent.

Editor's note:
    Mork, the staff at the Cortland Contrarian will miss you as you journey back to Ork.