We reported a few years ago that our former reporter, Sherwood, skipped out of Cortland and went to New York City. There he eloped with Chiquita Banana and went on honeymoon to the Caribbean Islands as a guest of Congressman Charles Rangel. Sherwood was wanted by local police for impersonation and assault and battery.
Now we find out that Sherwood has surfaced in Bethesda, Maryland, as a member of Hospital Workers Union 223. He and the union have filed a grievance against the National Institutes of Health and the U. S. Department of Interior. They are requesting new rules that place captive chimpanzees under federal protection. Such a designation will put an end to the only "split-listing" under the Endangered Species Act, designed in 1990 to allow the National Institutes of Health to fund and continue medical experiments using captive chimps.
Chimpanzees found in the wild and transported to the United States have been protected under the Endangered Species Act for nearly a quarter of a century, but not captive laboratory-raised chimps. As a result, captive chimps have been held in cages, bought and sold for research, poked, prodded, injected and submitted to cruel experiments to find cures that might benefit humans.
Under the recommendations contained in the union grievance, importing and exporting chimpanzees across US borders and across state borders for biomedical research should require federal permits issued by Fish and Wildlife Service, U. S. Department of Interior.
New York Senator Schumer and Congressman Rangel support the union grievance and proposals for change, and promise to introduce legislation that will change the rules for biomedical research on chimpanzees and amend the Endangered Species Act.
Before posting this disclosure and reporting the whereabouts of Sherwood, we contacted Local 223 and requested to speak to Sherwood. We were told that he was unavailable, that he had returned to the Caribbean Islands for rest and recreation.
Our local law enforcement agencies will be disappointed if this news is accurate, but the staff at the Cortland Contrarian confess a measure of pride concerning Sherwood's exploits and endeavors.