DOMICILE ERECTED BY JOHN

The Cortland Democrat, Friday, August 28, 1891.

Domicile Erected by John.

(Translated from the Vulgate of M. Goose by A. Pope)

Behold the mansion reared by Daedel Jack.

See the malt stored in many a plethoric sack

In the proud cirque of Ivan's bivouac.

Mark how the rat's felonious fangs invade

The golden stores in John's pavilion laid.

Anon, with velvet foot and Tarquin strides.

Subtle Grimalkin to his quarry glides;

Grimalkin grim, that slew the fierce rodent

Whose tooth insidious Johan's sackcloth rent.

Lo! now the deep mouthed canine foe's assault,

That vexed the avenger of the stolen malt,

Stored in the precincts of that lofty hall

That rose complete at Jack's creative call.

Here stalks the impetuous cow with crumpled horn,

Whereon the exacerbating hound was torn,

Who bayed the feline slaughter beast that slew

The rat predaceous, whose keen fangs ran through

The textile fibres that involved the grain

That lay in Hans' inviolate domain.

Here walks the sad eyed damsel crowned with rue,

Lactiferous spoils from vaccine dugs who drew,

Of that corniculate beast whose tortuous horn

Tossed to the clouds, in fierce vindictive scorn,

The braying hound, whose braggart bark and stir

Arched the lithe spine and reared the indignant fur

Of puss, that with verminicidal claw

Struck the weird rat, in whose insatiate maw

Lay reeking malt that erst in Juan's courts we saw.

Robed in senescent garb, that seems, in sooth

Too long a prey to Chronos' iron tooth,

Behold the man whose loving lips incline

Full with young Eros' osculative sign,

To the lorn maiden, whose lact-albic hands

Drew albu-laetic wealth from lacteal glands

Of that immortal bovine, by whose horn

Distort to realms ethereal was borne

The beast ululean, vexer of that sly

Ulysse quadrupedal, who made die

The old mordacious rat that dared devour

Antecedaneous ale in John's domestic bower.

Lo! here with hirsute honors deified, succinct

Of saponaceous locks, the Priest who linked

In Hymen's golden bands the thorn unthrift,

Whose means exiguous stared from many a rift,

Even as he kissed the virgin all forlorn,

Who milked the cow with implicated horn,

Who in fierce wrath the canine torturer skied

That dared to vex the insidious muricide,

Who let auroral effluence through the pelt

Of that sly rat that robbed the palace Jack had built.

The loud cantankerous Shanghai comes at last,

Whose shouts aroused the shorn ecclesiast,

Who sealed the vows of Hymen's sacrament

To him who, robed in garments indigent,

Exosculates the damsel lachrymose.

The emulgator of the horned brute morose.

That tossed the dog, that worried the cat, that killed

The rat, that ate the malt, that lay in the house that Jack built.

—New Orleans Picayune.

M. F. Cleary.

HERE AND THERE.

   Miss Ormsby's preparatory school will reopen Wednesday, Sept. 2d.

   Fall term at the Cortland Normal school is to open Wednesday, September 2d.

   The next convention of State firemen was voted to be held at Niagara Falls, in 1892.

   A Prohibition campaign club will be organized in rooms over Collins' store, next Monday evening.

   Ninety cents to Whitney's Point, including admission to the fair, next Tuesday. Special train at 8 A. M.

   Hon. L. J. Fitzgerald has been elected Treasurer of the Normal School board in place of Henry Brewer, deceased.

   Mr. H. T. Hollister has the contract for plumbing two new houses for Mr. E. B. Southworth on 147th-st., New York. Mr. Hollister was the lowest bidder.

   The Knight Templars' special excursion train leaves E., C. & N. depot at 8 A. M., next Monday, for Saratoga. Fare, $4.50; tickets good until September 3d.

   Lillian Kennedy, the popular actress, will appear in the Opera House, Saturday evening, Sept. 29th. Miss Kennedy has appeared in Cortland before, and is a great favorite.

   A harvest party will be given at the hotel in Scott, N. Y., on Thursday evening, Sept. 3d. Music will be furnished by F. H. Alvord's orchestra, assisted by "Happy Bill Daniels." Bill, $1.50.

   The E., C. & N. railroad will sell special round trip tickets to Elmira and return, September 1st to 9th inclusive, good for return passage till Sept. 10th, at $2.50, with one admission to Inter-State Fair.

   Only one prize fell to the Cortland representation of firemen at Herkimer, last week. Mr. M. F. Cleary, of Emerald Hose, No. 4, receiving a set of silver nut crackers and picks, awarded the best all 'round fireman present.

   An exchange says: "Now is the time to destroy burdocks. Don't go forth with the grubbing hoe and blister your hands, but take the oil can and pour a little oil on the top of each plant. That is all. The oil will do the rest more effectually."

   Co. A, Loyal Temperance Legion, will hold their first meeting, since vacation, on Monday, Aug. 31st, at 3:30 P. M., in W. C. T. U. rooms, over Collins’ store. Let every member be on hand. All boys and girls under 12 years of age are cordially invited.

   Many farmers are threshing their oat crop in the fields, notwithstanding the straw is very wet. This is deemed the only means of saving the grain. It has been suggested that a quantity of dry bricks placed in the bins will absorb the moisture and check molding.

   At the sixty-fourth anniversary of the Cortland Baptist Association, held with the Homer church people, Wednesday, the Rev. Dr. H. A. Cordo of Cortland preached the annual sermon. The officers elected are: Moderator, Dr. H. A. Cordo; Clerk, M. M. Newton; Treasurer, Rev. J. E. Usher; Corresponding Secretary, E. P. Slafter.

   The Daughters of Rebekah, No. 121, I. O. O. F., will hold a lawn festival at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Jay Hopkins, 70 Maple avenue, this evening (Friday). Ice cream, cake and good music will be furnished. Ample room abounds at the premises for an enjoyable gathering, to which all Odd Fellows and friends of the order are invited.

   Saturday, 29th inst., Mrs. James Ryan, as administratrix of the estate of Jane Warden, deceased, will sell at the Warden hotel, in Solon, commencing at 1 P. M., one bay team, 9 and 10 years old, wagons, cutter, sap gathering utensils, bedding, furniture, pictures, sewing machine, lumber, and other articles. Three months' credit on sums over $10. H. G. Borthwick, auctioneer.

   The next reunion of the 76th Reg’t, N. Y. Vols., will be held at Truxton, on Wednesday, Oct. 7th, 1891. It is stated that the citizens of Truxton are preparing a reception for the veterans of the first Cortland regiment on this 30th anniversary of its muster in. There will be a business meeting at 10:30 in the forenoon, and a public meeting in the afternoon, with address by Capt C. W. Underhill, of Hamilton.

They will be accompanied by the Hitchcock Band. The annual conclave will be held at Saratoga. Forty commanderies will be in line in the grand procession on Tuesday, Sept. 1st, forming a most brilliant pageant. Cortland Sir Knights and their friends expect to return Wednesday, leaving Saratoga about 3 P. M. Tickets will be good to and including Sept. 5th.

   Cortland Commandery, Knights Templar, will leave Cortland via E.,C. & N. for Saratoga, Monday, August 31st, at 10 A. M., arriving at Saratoga about 5 P. M.

   Some farmers are fearing that the potatoes may rot, and some state that rot has begun, owing to the frequent rains and wet condition of the ground. We are informed that a certain farmer tried an experiment last year which proved most efficacious in saving part of his crop from rotting. He found that his potatoes were showing signs of rot and at once cut and removed the tops of the potatoes from one-half of his patch. On this portion of ground, when he dug the potatoes a few weeks afterwards, they were found to be sound, while on the other portion where the tops were allowed to remain, the potatoes were nearly all rotten when dug. The plan is easy to work and looks reasonable, as the ground gets an opportunity to dry out.

   A full corps of colored waiters are now doing duty at the Messenger House in place of the girls who resigned, Monday.

   Since resuming the proprietorship of the Cortland House, Mr. Delos Bauder has awarded to Messrs. D. F. Wallace & Co., the contract for renovating and decorating the parlors, dining, and guest rooms, in fact, the entire interior of this popular hotel will be transformed during the coming month, but the skillful planing [sic] is such that comparatively no inconvenience will be experienced by the many guests or transient boarders. Marked improvements are also being made in the plumbing and other features about the house. With newly decorated walls, ceilings and wood work, few cities can excel the well-known Cortland House.