Sunday, December 11, 2016



     Every now and then I feel like a cat chasing her tail. An inappropriate euphemism starts the purring and friskiness. A mental rush to find other words or phrases follows like a whirlwind.

     “Police action,” a substitute for “war,” is a euphemism. “Armed intervention” is similar. I like “proper political spin.” That’s akin to a proper lie, cut and dried. I have not classified “weapons of mass destruction,” but I know a lie when I see or hear it. “Social moderate” is an idiom concocted by the same idiot who invented “teachable moment.”

     Unimaginative and trite euphemisms keep me going around in circles. I stop when I get dizzy. Cats must do the same thing, although I doubt they are affected by euphemisms. The cat in the hat might be, on second thought.

     “She passed away.” She died. But a frog or old fogie “croaked?”
     “Comparing answers.” Cheating in class.
     “Raise hell.” Think about it.
     “So.” Very confusing as a first word of reply. Is that a yes, no or maybe, or let’s talk about something else?
     “Career politician.” “Smooth talker.” A representative of the profession that has skill and experience with mendacity.
     “Political pundit.” A living relic of the Know-Nothing party.
     “Affirmative action.” Class warfare conducted by government.
     “Police action.” War.
     “Armed intervention.” War.
     “Spousal cheating.” Ultimate war.  
     Running in circles again, I am.

     For example:
     Citizen: Where did the grant money come from?
     Politician: “It was appropriated by the legislature.”
     Citizen: “Taxed or borrowed?”
     Politician: “Frivolous question. The grant money goes to a good cause.”
     Citizen: “I hear a smooth talker. Next time you visit our town and raise hell, why not dress as Santa?”
     Politician: “So, I was thinking of doing that after I retire.”
     Citizen: “After you retire and before you pass away, everyone here hopes that you use your own money to buy presents, Santa.”
     Politician: "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa. Vote for me"

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