Conjecture And Rumor

     I've always had trouble with words. They're more disturbing than a swarm of African bees in the baby's bedroom in the middle of winter.
     My dear departed English teachers and my ancient school tests confirmed my word incompetence. One teacher insulted me when she told me I had to learn the alphabet before I could write a word.
     I hated the dictionary. (Still do.) The dictionary always told me that the word I wanted to use had a different meaning than what I thought or intended. This came as a surprise: a skunk is not a politician. Mistakes can be made. In addition, who dares malign the saintly reputation of a skunk?
     Words continue to trouble me.
     What is the difference between conjecture and rumor? I guess most people don't care. But for those who do care, don't call a city lawyer. The lawyer may demand a high retainer fee, and worse, refer you to a definition of hearsay and then tell you about the exceptions. Good thing lawyers don't write dictionaries.
     I don't want to know about hearsay. I want to know about rumor and conjecture.
     Everybody knows what a rumor is; college educated people can tell you the meaning of conjecture--well, some of them can.
     Rumor is defined as a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts. It's also called gossip or hearsay. Hold that thought about hearsay.
     Conjecture is defined as the formation or expression of an opinion or theory without sufficient evidence for proof. Hold that thought about proof.
     So, it seems that hearsay and proof are active agents in this convoluted word puzzle.
     This is getting too complicated. Now we do need a lawyer.
     Retaining a lawyer or lawyers to prove the definition of rumor and conjecture may be a futile and costly investment. The initial legal decision, depending on the judge--another lawyer--surely will be the subject of conjecture. No doubt it will be the subject of rampant rumor, a catchy cliche that I will not abandon. All or part of the decision will be subject to appeal, and subsequently, inevitably, to speculation.
     Perhaps this question of definitions can go all the way to the Supreme Court. Those impeccable judges are good with words. I can give you an example. The high court recently created an alternative definition for bribery. Bribery wasn't eliminated, but now it is also called an unlimited campaign donation. I think they did it to confuse those pretentious, synergetic lexicographers.
     If any authority can define the meaning of rumor and conjecture, I believe it would be those respected judges with their infinite wisdom and political detachment.
     In a preceding paragraph, did I type: "Good thing lawyers don't write dictionaries?" I'm known for that kind of deception.
     My next inquiry will concern itself with the word deception.
     As I am still a novice in the practice of deception, I will begin attending sessions of the New York State Legislature to see and hear how the professionals do it.