Alien Precursors abducted City of Cortland Democrat Clay Benefit late last night near the corner of Homer Avenue and Madison Avenue. A cloaked flying saucer hovered over the city as a trio of Precursors descended to earth and made the pinch. Precursors are hybrid Republican-Aliens.
The Precursors took Benefit to Republican headquarters on Port Watson Street for interrogation. They grilled him for several hours, demanding answers about political mischief by Democrats aligned with the Woodster faction. Republican committee members cooked up the questions. They were present and recorded all questions and answers.
An incomplete transcript follows. It was obtained from Victor Bahou's ghost, who still resides in the building.
Precursor 1: "Was it your idea to misprint Democratic primary petitions?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 2: "Was William Woode involved?
Clay: "No."
Precursor 3: "Does no mean yes?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 1: "When you discovered the misprint--which made the form unacceptable to election commissioners--did you notify mayoral candidate Tobin?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 2: "Who notified mayoral candidate Tobin?"
Clay: "I don't know."
Precursor 3: "When was mayoral candidate Tobin notified?"
Clay (frazzled by rapid fire questions): "The day I told him--"
Precursor 1: "Did you lie to Precursor 2?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 2: "Why did you delay notifying Mayor Susan Feiszli, who had the same misprinted petitions for two months and was notified of the mistake with only eight days left to qualify?"
Clay: "I thought she was notified."
Precursor 3: "Who notified her?"
Clay: "I don't know."
Precursor 1: Having been notified several days after Tobin, Mayor Feiszli was at a clear disadvantage. Was that intentional?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 2: "Are you planning any dirty tricks for Republicans?"
Clay: "No."
Precursor 3: "Does no mean yes?"
Clay: "No."
End of transcript.
Before returning Democrat Clay Benefit to the place of abduction on Homer Avenue in the wee hours of morning, the Precursors brainwashed him and instructed him to send an email to all Cortland voters. His email endorsed Republicans Dan Quail and Tom Michales for reelection.
When he was released, he was admonished to abandon any pretense that he was a Latter-Day Solon, or political reformer.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
A Camp
The bed was made, the room was fit,
By punctual eve the stars were lit;
The air was still, the water ran;
No need was there for maid or man,
When we pulled up, my ass and I,
At God's green caravanserai.
A Camp by Robert Louis Stevenson
By punctual eve the stars were lit;
The air was still, the water ran;
No need was there for maid or man,
When we pulled up, my ass and I,
At God's green caravanserai.
A Camp by Robert Louis Stevenson
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Who Am I? (Number1)
I was born in Russia but I grew up in Brooklyn. I received my PhD in biochemistry from Columbia University. I was a tenured associate professor of biochemistry at Boston University, but after 1958 I seldom taught classes. I was too busy copyrighting Theremon762 and Multivac and other strange names.
No, I didn't sell vacuum cleaners.
I was a claustrophile most of my life. I actually enjoyed enclosed spaces. When I was a child I wanted to hide inside a newspaper stand in a New York City subway station and listen to trains as I read magazines.
As an adult I enjoyed Gilbert and Sullivan operas. I joined the Sherlock Holmes Society, the Baker Street Irregulars and the Trapdoor Spiders.
No, they weren't street gangs.
In 1984 I was named Humanist of the Year by the American Humanist Association. Humanist is the named I preferred rather than atheist or agnostic.
I had a heart attack in 1977, and triple bypass surgery in 1983. The blood I received during bypass surgery was tainted with HIV. I died in 1992 of myocardial and renal complications.
I wrote or edited over 500 books. I became famous for The Foundation, Galactic Empire and I Robot series. I won awards for two short stories, Nightfall and The Last Question.
I am Isaac Asimov.
For a short biography, go to link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov
No, I didn't sell vacuum cleaners.
I was a claustrophile most of my life. I actually enjoyed enclosed spaces. When I was a child I wanted to hide inside a newspaper stand in a New York City subway station and listen to trains as I read magazines.
As an adult I enjoyed Gilbert and Sullivan operas. I joined the Sherlock Holmes Society, the Baker Street Irregulars and the Trapdoor Spiders.
No, they weren't street gangs.
In 1984 I was named Humanist of the Year by the American Humanist Association. Humanist is the named I preferred rather than atheist or agnostic.
I had a heart attack in 1977, and triple bypass surgery in 1983. The blood I received during bypass surgery was tainted with HIV. I died in 1992 of myocardial and renal complications.
I wrote or edited over 500 books. I became famous for The Foundation, Galactic Empire and I Robot series. I won awards for two short stories, Nightfall and The Last Question.
I am Isaac Asimov.
For a short biography, go to link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Is It All About Money?
Mayoral candidate Brian Tobin handily won the Democratic primary. How will he reward his political handlers--veteran party hacks Ron Walsh and William Wood? Will they both regain a foothold in city government? Will Ron Walsh resume as corporation council, and William Wood resume as city clerk?
Is that what voters want or expect?
A farmer in Cortlandville suggested that appointing Wood and Walsh to positions in city government may be similar to a sheep rancher putting wolves in his sheep meadow.
How did these veteran party leaders convince Alderman Tobin to run against Mayor Feiszli in the primary? Did they appeal to him on the singular issue of the landlord-city code dispute? Or was it a more primitive, selfish appeal for pecuniary reward?
Without public salaries and benefits for part-time work, the number of enthusiastic candidates for public office would decline sharply. The health insurance benefit alone is a capital draw, worth up to $15,000 per year. And part-time public employees are eligible for state pensions.
The office of mayor pays $25,000 per year, the corporation council position pays $40,000 per year, and the city clerk position pays $3,500 per year for four hours work each week. All these positions are part-time with full benefits, if chosen.
Is it all about money?
You bet it is!
Is that what voters want or expect?
A farmer in Cortlandville suggested that appointing Wood and Walsh to positions in city government may be similar to a sheep rancher putting wolves in his sheep meadow.
How did these veteran party leaders convince Alderman Tobin to run against Mayor Feiszli in the primary? Did they appeal to him on the singular issue of the landlord-city code dispute? Or was it a more primitive, selfish appeal for pecuniary reward?
Without public salaries and benefits for part-time work, the number of enthusiastic candidates for public office would decline sharply. The health insurance benefit alone is a capital draw, worth up to $15,000 per year. And part-time public employees are eligible for state pensions.
The office of mayor pays $25,000 per year, the corporation council position pays $40,000 per year, and the city clerk position pays $3,500 per year for four hours work each week. All these positions are part-time with full benefits, if chosen.
Is it all about money?
You bet it is!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sgt. Pepper Slammed by Area Newspaper
One of the newspapers that serves the Cortland area has slammed Detective Sgt. Lonely Pepper in a typical, rambling, unfocused editorial. The newspaper charged that Sgt. Pepper submitted a claim to the city for overtime for his musical performance at the Occupy Cortland demonstration last Saturday night.
Sgt. Pepper denied the charge and issued the following statement:
"I did not submit a claim for overtime. I was not in uniform, I was not working a case, I was not working period. I and the band volunteered our time, at the chief's request, in harmony with the event. The chief will back me on this.
"The newspaper also suggested that the police department is 'running on empty' in regard to the unsolved flasher case. I am not authorized to talk about that case, other than state we have a person of interest--that person is one of the 'Good Old Boys'-- we prefer not to identify him at this time.
"This same newspaper also made undocumented charges about the decisions and performance of our mayor. The public was misinformed. Addressing the newspaper, I demand a correction--for me and the mayor. Set the record straight. Put up or shut up."
For more on Sgt. Pepper, see previous posts "Occupy Cortland Protest" and Flasher Spotted Near Beaudry Park."
Sgt. Pepper denied the charge and issued the following statement:
"I did not submit a claim for overtime. I was not in uniform, I was not working a case, I was not working period. I and the band volunteered our time, at the chief's request, in harmony with the event. The chief will back me on this.
"The newspaper also suggested that the police department is 'running on empty' in regard to the unsolved flasher case. I am not authorized to talk about that case, other than state we have a person of interest--that person is one of the 'Good Old Boys'-- we prefer not to identify him at this time.
"This same newspaper also made undocumented charges about the decisions and performance of our mayor. The public was misinformed. Addressing the newspaper, I demand a correction--for me and the mayor. Set the record straight. Put up or shut up."
For more on Sgt. Pepper, see previous posts "Occupy Cortland Protest" and Flasher Spotted Near Beaudry Park."
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Trick Paragraph
"It was a crisp and spicy morning in early October. The lilacs and laburnuns, lit with the glory-fires of autumn, hung burning and flashing in the upper air, a fairy bridge provided by kind nature for the wingless wild things that have their homes in the tree-tops and would visit together; the larch and the promegranate flung their purple and yellow flames in brilliant broad splashes along the slanting sweep of the woodland; the sensuous fragrance of innumerable deciduous flowers rose upon the swooning atmosphere; far in the empty sky a solitary oesophagus slept upon motionless wing; everywhere brooded stillness, serenity, and the peace of God."
excerpt, Double-Barreled Detective Story by Mark Twain.
excerpt, Double-Barreled Detective Story by Mark Twain.
Occupy Cortland Protest
The Occupy Cortland protest, a local spin-off of Occupy Wall Street, entered the sixth day in typical Cortland fashion--a few resolute older protesters showed up in front of the U.S. Post Office building at 8 A.M., Saturday morning. The young student protesters, who had partied Friday night, were sleeping on the sidewalks, in doorways, and in alleys. The weather was seasonal, the morning was chilly.
Some protesters waved signs, and some shouted slogans:
"Down with Capitalism."
"Wall Street Robbers."
"Corporate Greed."
"Fair Tax--Tax millionaires."
"People Before Profits."
"We are the 99 Pct."
"Jail Banksters."
"Protect Working Families."
"Honk for Justice."
A few passing motorists honked their horns. Others ignored the protesters, who were five in number, a mix of retired university and government employees.
"Shouldn't we be protesting at a bank?" a grey-haired woman said to another protester.
"We should," answered the other woman. "But where? Which bank?"
"Let's move our protest to the HSBC bank," the first woman suggested. "It's those bailed-out, bonus-bragging bankers that we want to make accountable. The post office has nothing to do with the economic mess we're in, really."
The protesters all agreed to this suggestion, and they re-located to the sidewalk in front of the HSBC bank. The farmer's market vendors who lined the west curb of Main Street watched with curiosity.The protesters continued to shout their slogans and sing old civil rights' protest songs.
"We shall overcome--"
Someone made the point that the HSBC bank was controlled by Communist China. They paused their protest and huddled in serious discussion. They agreed that Communist China had abandoned socialism and was now a purveyor of capitalism, and that the protest should continue in front of the bank. One of the aged protesters, a retired education professor, summarized their position:
"The Chinese are building new farms, railroads, airports, highways, skyscrapers, factories and revitalizing neighborhoods. The slums that were the earmark of communism are disappearing. There is inequality everywhere in China--classic signs of capitalism. It's the fault of Wall Street and big greedy banks, like this one, that devour the middle-class and create poverty all over the world. Look what they did to Greece. We shall overcome--"
One old street vendor, who was watching and listening, commented: "He contradicts himself."
The retired professor, who was the object of the criticism, didn't hear him.
The young protesters began to stir about 2 P.M. The partying resumed. Music flowed along Main Street, songs were sung, slogans were shouted. By 4 P.M. there were hundreds of protesters on the street and sidewalks. Vehicular traffic could not pass. Horns were honking. Angry motorists were shouting from open car windows. The police were called by concerned merchants. Vendors packed their produce and left the farmers market.
Protesters said that they had a permit. Police said that the permit did not allow protesters to block traffic. Both sides sought to avoid a confrontation. Police Chief McCartney said he would supply musicians at 8 P.M. if the protesters allowed traffic to pass. The protesters happily agreed, cleared the streets and allowed traffic to pass. Chief McCartney contacted Sgt. Pepper and made arrangements for the music.
At 6 P.M. the older protesters went home. New signs appeared.
"LEGALIZE ALL DRUGS."
"Outlaw War."
"Outlaw Work."
"Make Love not War."
"LOVE IS MY RELIGION."
"Free Tuition."
"FREE BEER."
A student leader gave a short vitriolic speech against capitalism and work, and concluded with:
"We have some serious issues about wealth and greed in this country, but right now it's party time!"
At 8 P.M. Chief McCartney and Deputy Chief Starr introduced Sgt. Lonely Pepper's Band to the crowd of youthful, enthusiastic protesters. Chief McCartney told the crowd that Sgt. Pepper was the detective assigned to Cortland's unsolved flasher case. The crowd applauded.
Sgt. Pepper, lead vocalist, began the evening festivities with "Imagine" followed by "Give Me Some Truth."
Behind the scenes, the mayor praised the chief's decision to control the crowd with John Lennon music.
"There are arrests and street violence in Denver and New York City," she said. "But we have peace and cooperation in the City of Cortland."
Click on YouTube below for an entertaining Wall Street protest song suggested by a reader of this blog.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ReasonTV#p/c/3/4QTfNEDgusQ
Readers interested in the subject of unequal income distribution and probable effects in the United States please click on the Bloomberg News and New York Times links below.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-10-13/growing-income-divide-may-increase-u-s-vulnerability-to-financial-crises.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/opinion/sunday/kristof-americas-primal-scream.html?_r=1&hp
Some protesters waved signs, and some shouted slogans:
"Down with Capitalism."
"Wall Street Robbers."
"Corporate Greed."
"Fair Tax--Tax millionaires."
"People Before Profits."
"We are the 99 Pct."
"Jail Banksters."
"Protect Working Families."
"Honk for Justice."
A few passing motorists honked their horns. Others ignored the protesters, who were five in number, a mix of retired university and government employees.
"Shouldn't we be protesting at a bank?" a grey-haired woman said to another protester.
"We should," answered the other woman. "But where? Which bank?"
"Let's move our protest to the HSBC bank," the first woman suggested. "It's those bailed-out, bonus-bragging bankers that we want to make accountable. The post office has nothing to do with the economic mess we're in, really."
The protesters all agreed to this suggestion, and they re-located to the sidewalk in front of the HSBC bank. The farmer's market vendors who lined the west curb of Main Street watched with curiosity.The protesters continued to shout their slogans and sing old civil rights' protest songs.
"We shall overcome--"
Someone made the point that the HSBC bank was controlled by Communist China. They paused their protest and huddled in serious discussion. They agreed that Communist China had abandoned socialism and was now a purveyor of capitalism, and that the protest should continue in front of the bank. One of the aged protesters, a retired education professor, summarized their position:
"The Chinese are building new farms, railroads, airports, highways, skyscrapers, factories and revitalizing neighborhoods. The slums that were the earmark of communism are disappearing. There is inequality everywhere in China--classic signs of capitalism. It's the fault of Wall Street and big greedy banks, like this one, that devour the middle-class and create poverty all over the world. Look what they did to Greece. We shall overcome--"
One old street vendor, who was watching and listening, commented: "He contradicts himself."
The retired professor, who was the object of the criticism, didn't hear him.
The young protesters began to stir about 2 P.M. The partying resumed. Music flowed along Main Street, songs were sung, slogans were shouted. By 4 P.M. there were hundreds of protesters on the street and sidewalks. Vehicular traffic could not pass. Horns were honking. Angry motorists were shouting from open car windows. The police were called by concerned merchants. Vendors packed their produce and left the farmers market.
Protesters said that they had a permit. Police said that the permit did not allow protesters to block traffic. Both sides sought to avoid a confrontation. Police Chief McCartney said he would supply musicians at 8 P.M. if the protesters allowed traffic to pass. The protesters happily agreed, cleared the streets and allowed traffic to pass. Chief McCartney contacted Sgt. Pepper and made arrangements for the music.
At 6 P.M. the older protesters went home. New signs appeared.
"LEGALIZE ALL DRUGS."
"Outlaw War."
"Outlaw Work."
"Make Love not War."
"LOVE IS MY RELIGION."
"Free Tuition."
"FREE BEER."
A student leader gave a short vitriolic speech against capitalism and work, and concluded with:
"We have some serious issues about wealth and greed in this country, but right now it's party time!"
At 8 P.M. Chief McCartney and Deputy Chief Starr introduced Sgt. Lonely Pepper's Band to the crowd of youthful, enthusiastic protesters. Chief McCartney told the crowd that Sgt. Pepper was the detective assigned to Cortland's unsolved flasher case. The crowd applauded.
Sgt. Pepper, lead vocalist, began the evening festivities with "Imagine" followed by "Give Me Some Truth."
Behind the scenes, the mayor praised the chief's decision to control the crowd with John Lennon music.
"There are arrests and street violence in Denver and New York City," she said. "But we have peace and cooperation in the City of Cortland."
Click on YouTube below for an entertaining Wall Street protest song suggested by a reader of this blog.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ReasonTV#p/c/3/4QTfNEDgusQ
Readers interested in the subject of unequal income distribution and probable effects in the United States please click on the Bloomberg News and New York Times links below.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-10-13/growing-income-divide-may-increase-u-s-vulnerability-to-financial-crises.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/opinion/sunday/kristof-americas-primal-scream.html?_r=1&hp
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