A Man Called "Zero"

transcribed from the Thursday, May 19, 1904 Cortland Standard.
 

Harmless Household Pet, Says Miss Cooney of Chicago.

CLUB WOMEN’S HUBBIES SATIRIZED.

Speaker at Catholic Woman’s National League Banquet in Chicago Declared Husbands Sometimes Display Intelligence That is Almost Human~-Can Be Made Somewhat Useful, However, Sewing Buttons, Tending Babies, Etc.

   If the members of the Catholic Woman's National league had taken their husbands to the annual banquet held the other afternoon in the drill hall of the Masonic temple at Chicago some of the more sensitive of the men might have hurled themselves to the pavement seventeen stories below. Genevieve Cooney, who prefixes "Miss" to her name and consequently must have spoken from observation only, expanded upon the theme "The Club Woman's Husband" with the glee of a caricaturist, says the Chicago Record-Herald.
   Miss Cooney began with a conservative "He isn't such a joke after all and should be treated with the utmost consideration," but after that one sentence she gave no mercy. Two hundred and thirty women, most of them with a husband at home, made up an audience before which Miss Cooney used the stiletto.
   "Very little is known of this mysterious him," said Miss Cooney, "except that he is Mrs. So-and-so's husband. He is a quiet, domestic thing, without any bad habits, a sort of household pet. At times he displays an intelligence that is almost human, just like the family dog. Of him it might well be said, parodying the words of the poet Gray:
   Full many a man is born to blush unseen, and waste his sweetness in a modern flat.
   "He is a zero in the domestic problem. His identity was surrendered at the altar, only a fragment of it being saved so that he may still possess the virtue of signing checks.
   "Shall I enumerate his modest virtues? He can sew buttons on his clothes while his life partner is saving the children of the masses. He can keep house while she is away attending the national convention and minister to all the needs of the baby. He can listen patiently to stories of club doings told by his wife, although he might be dying to read the newspaper, and best of all he is perfectly satisfied with his lot. I have even known some of the species to wait for their wives outside the clubroom doors after a long day's work and escort them home to the supper-less abode.
   "Sometimes he attends club meetings with her and listens proudly and quietly while she demonstrates her superior intelligence. Occasionally he becomes drowsy and begins to nod. Then he learns the power of that new commandment, 'Thou shalt not slumber at the club.'"
   "The time will come when the clever bachelor club girl who marries a man shall not change her name. She will be Miss Dobbins after as well as before marriage. He will be the one to surrender his cognomen and be forever afterward known as Miss Dobbins’ husband."
   But the husband was not without a champion during the banquet.  Mrs. David O'Shea, responding to the toast "Our Husbands," indulged in eulogy instead of satire, closing with the words:
   "May his arms be always our defense and our arms his recompense."
   But Miss Luella Parker seemed to believe with Miss Cooney in woman's vast superiority, saying:
   "The women of the United States are more moral, more religious and more intelligent than the men. Their minds are more flexible, more versatile."
   Miss Alice T. P. Keary acted as toastmistress.

 

N0 MORE STATE TAX

Again the Revenues From Indirect Sources Meet All Appropriations.

And a Balance of Six Millions Will Remain In the Treasury.

   Freedom from direct state taxation was again assured when Governor Odell at the conclusion of work on the thirty day bills signed the state tax rate bill imposing the nominal state tax of thirteen one-hundredths of a mill, the tax required by the constitution. A surplus of $6,000,000 will be on hand at the end of the fiscal year.

   Thus in 1902, 1903 and 1904 Governor Odell and a Republican legislature have by an economical administration of the state's affairs and by modifications and additions to the state's indirect taxes virtually abolished direct state taxation. Nor has the administration been a niggardly one. Generous appropriations have been made to worthy objects. In a memorandum on the state tax rate bill the governor points out that there has been an actual increase of the appropriations this year over those of last year. He states that the total appropriations made by the legislature were $28,296,523.82 and that the total approved of by him was $26,041,200.33 and. that he disallowed $2,255,323.49. The legislature of 1903 appropriated $23,587,947.77, which was allowed by the governor. The present year, therefore, the governor authorizes an increase of appropriations over those of 1903 amounting to $2,453,252.23.