Dagoes and Huns

Cortland Evening Standard, Monday, April 6, 1896.

DAGOES AND HUNS.

Celebrated Easter With a Free for All Fight.

   Considerable excitement took place at the comer of Elm and Crandall-st. on the east side yesterday afternoon between Hungarians and Italians. It seems that a Hungarian attempted to forcibly take a watch and chain from an Italian who seriously objected to such procedure and who resisted very strongly and with blows. Accessions were rapidly made to each side and as a result a free-for-all fight ensued, in which two Italians, Garibaldi and Sapolio, got the worst of it. They were pretty badly bruised about the face and head. Some of them came to police headquarters and Chief Linderman and Officer Parker went to the scene of the affray, but no one there acknowledged that he knew anything about it or at least would not tell if he did. Everything was quiet and so no arrests could be made. The Italians refused to swear out a warrant for the arrest of any one and so the matter had to be dropped.

                                                        Picturesque Idea.

   If Chicago did not need all the ashes she can get to fill up her swamps and turn them into magnificent building lots, she might well borrow from Leipsic [Leipzig], Germany, a most picturesque idea. Like Chicago, Leipsic is situated in a level plain. The levelness is monotonous. The patient Leipsicers have, however, undertaken to add variety to their landscape by building a hill.

   For many years the ashes from the city have been hauled to a certain spot and there piled up. The mound has been growing taller and taller year by year till it is now 120 feet high. With the ashes have been deposited old crockery and cans and rubbish otherwise than garbage. The city council has had charge of the building of this homemade hill and has taken great interest in it. The name of the mayor of Leipsic has been given to it, and it is called Mount Georgi. [A worthy honor for any mayor.]

   The work is now nearly complete. The ashes that compose the hill have in process of time turned into very fair alkaline soil. With the addition of loam this will make fertile ground for growing those cabbages dear to the rustic European heart, and not only cabbages, but onions and other fragrant vegetables. To this purpose the soil of the hill is dedicated. The city council will have charge of even the cabbage growing.

   Thus not only considerable tillable ground has been added to Leipsic, but it will have a fine lookout tower on the top of the hill of ashes.

 

                                                           

 

Nikola Tesla.

 

   Nikola Tesla has a plan of his own for communicating with Mars. He revealed it to a newspaper young man not long ago. Thunder showers on the earth are produced by electrical disturbances in the sun’s atmosphere. If now we can produce in the earth's atmosphere an electrical disturbance which shall be powerful enough to reach Mars, we shall be sending our message to the red planet whether the people there can interpret it or not.

   Electricians have already reached the point where they can produce all the artificial thunder and lightning they wish. Already electrical apparatus can be made easily with a "spark gap" of a mile, and Tesla believes this gap could be enlarged indefinitely. If we were to begin and treat Mars to a fine display of thunder and lightning every Sunday afternoon for about a year, perhaps the Martians would begin to see a design in it.

 

                                                                       Tramps.

 

   In city after city the world's experience is the same. If you want to drive the tramp away, give him a night's lodging at public expense, but make it a cast iron rule that he shall first take a bath. Weary Waggles would rather face death than soap and water and the use of a good scrubbing brush.

   "Wash myself?” says he. "It would kill me!"

   And breathing a vast sigh Weary Waggles moves on. The sure way to tell the decent workingman out of employment from the tramp is that the decent workingman is always not only willing but glad to have a bath.

 

Pensions. 

 

   Certainly it is as little as congress can do to increase the pensions of surviving Mexican war soldiers from $8 a month to $12. Not one of the American people will grudge it to the venerable men.




Reference: Are You There Mars?
http://ciphermagazine.com/blog/?p=758