THAT ALLEGED G. A. R. INSULT

Wheelmen on Parade, New York City, 1883.

The Cortland Democrat, Friday, June 15, 1888.

The Alleged G. A. R. Insult.

"Worth Makes the Man—the Want of It the Fellow."

   A fellow who subscribes himself "Old Vet," which is neither very old or much of "Vet" except in his own estimation, has wantonly attacked the wheelmen who attended the tournament at Cortland on Decoration Day, and sought to divert attention from his own infamous conduct on that occasion by false charges against the wheelmen.
   "Old Vet" is one of those fellows who failed to win either honor or distinction in actual service, and has ever since the war closed been making desperate efforts to compensate for his dismal failure as a real soldier, by dress parade performances resplendent in brass buttons and high top boots playing "veteran" or mock soldier of some kind. Among the things which "Old Vet" affects is horsemanship, and nothing so elates and stimulates him to a display of his insufferable vanity as to be mounted on horse back with a red string over his shoulder or around his waist, as marshal of some procession. Such an occasion never fails to bring this fellow out in his true character of a conceited, brainless, characterless coxcomb.
   Decoration Day found him in this role, and as the wheelmen were pursuing their inoffensive way noiselessly, and in a quiet and becoming manner, along Grant street toward North Main street, having gone up Church street to Grant to avoid all processions and throngs, "Old Vet" appealed on horseback, his countenance beaming with the overwhelming importance of the thought—always uppermost, with him—"what a wonderful chap I am," came galloping at full speed toward the wheelmen gesticulating wildly and vociferating orders punctuated with a profusion of profanity and abuse in an insufferably offensive and pompous manner, ordered the wheelmen to go back, and attempted to ride them down by riding his horse against machines without any explanation of reason for wishing them to retire.

   Up [to] this moment no wheelman for a moment supposed he had done or was about to do anything to discommode or displease the G. A. R., or anyone else, but the over whelming violence and suddenness of this warlike charge of the bombastic human peacock who masquerades as "Old Vet" upon the columns of the wheelmen, upset the dignity of some of them for a moment, and had it not been for the respect which the wheelmen entertain for Decoration Day and all its associations and memories, for the laws and institutions of the land, "Old Vet" would have been dragged in the dust and trampled upon then and there by the indignant and muscular wheelmen, and for once he would have had some of the conceit taking out of him, even though it had been necessary to bleed him slightly to relieve his oppressed and throbbing brain, overwrought as it must have been with the contemplation of his vast importance on that occasion. Fortunately, too, for "Vet" there were persons among the wheelmen who knew him and made the same allowances they would have made for any other idiot.
   These considerations restored the equanimity of the wheelmen at once, and not a dozen persons besides "Old Vet" and the wheelman would ever have heard of the occurrence had he not with his usual desire to display himself as a knight of the goose quill as well as a knight militant, by writing false and defamatory articles for every newspaper that could be prevailed upon to publish his mendacious statements.
   There is not a word of truth in his statement that the wheelmen attempted to ride through the column engaged in celebrating Decoration Day. Neither is it true that the procession was hooted or jeered at from the windows of the Messenger House. While it may be true that "Vet's" fantastic vanity may have excited derision by his personal peculiarities, it was so carefully concealed as to be discovered by "Vet” himself.
   To illustrate one of the peculiarities of "Old Vet" let us say he is the person who climbed into the grandstand to view the tournament and cheat the wheelmen out of the dime charged for admission.
   We would suggest the following inscription as one most appropriate to mark the last resting place of "Old Vet" and as summing up accurately a remarkable career.
   "Beneath this slab lies the great— —
   He was wise as a bat and unruly of tongue,
   Think it not strange he is driven to dust,
   For he swelled and he swelled till he finally bust;
   Just where he has gone or just how he fares,
   Nobody knows and nobody cares,
   But wherever he is, be he angel or elf,
   Be sure, my dear reader, he is puffing himself."
   A WHEELMAN.
   June 8th, 1888.

Wheelmen in front of Dexter House on Main Street. The name Dexter is seen to the left of the third floor balcony.

Improvements at the Dexter House.

   Business is booming just now at the Dexter House, and from the preparations now making there, it is evident that the popular proprietors are fully determined to maintain the same state of affairs in the future. For the past two weeks a large force of workmen have been busy and the result is that now the Dexter House is able to offer accommodations unsurpassed by any other hotel in the village. The rooms secured by leasing the third and fourth floors over Sager & Jenning's Drug Store, are among the last in the house as they front on Main and Clinton streets, of which they command an extensive view. They have been supplied with carpets of choice designs and entirely new furniture. The old rooms have been newly papered, and painted and shine forth gorgeous in their new dress. Similar improvements have been also made in the parlors, and dining and reading rooms.
   The large and increasing patronage which the house is now enjoying is due not less to the superior decoration afforded to the travelling public than to the personal popularity of Messrs. Perry and Smith, who easily rank among the best hotel men in this part of the country. Always affable, genial and courteous, their guests are quickly made to see that their stay is to be made as comfortable as possible, and that no lack of attention to their comforts will be wanting. The employees of the house are always ready to second the efforts of the proprietors and every visitor may be assured that during his stay he will be well taken care of.
   The high standard of the cuisine and table service will be maintained in the future, and no effort be omitted to make this house one of the best in Central New York. We bespeak for the proprietors a continuance of the successful business which has been developed under their management.

It’s a Dandy.

   What is probably the finest piece of carriage work ever turned out of any shop in this village, is the phaeton built especially for Mrs. G. J. Mager, by the Cortland Manufacturing Co., Limited. It is of the style known as the Ladies’ Loup Front Phaeton, though some modifications have been made to meet Mrs. Mager's wishes for an easy, comfortable carriage. The seat is of extra width, and the body hung low, which makes it easy of access. The wood and iron work are alike complete in every particular, and the whole finished in a manner that surpasses all previous efforts of the firm.

   The top, which is of the best buffed leather, is so arranged that by drawing back two small levers which are concealed from sight by the cushions, it can be readily taken off, and a canopy top, imported especially for this carriage, be substituted in its place.

   The cushions and top linings are made of imported broadcloth, and the cushions made up with the finest quality of hair arranged over small steel springs. Two elegant lamps, placed one on either sidee of the desk, complete the outfit and add very much to its attractive appearance.

   The firm are to be congratulated in being able to turn out so fine a piece of work, and Mrs. Mager in being fortunate enough to secure it.

Y. M. C. A. Opening.

   Wednesday evening occurred the opening of the Young Men's Christian Association at the rooms especially fitted up for them in the Standard block. A large number of the friends and members of the Association were present, all of whom expressed their satisfaction with the arrangements made by the Secretary and his associates for the accommodation of the organization.

   The exercises, though brief, were interesting, consisting of a prayer by Rev. Dr. Cordo, and addresses by President B. L. Webb, Secretary A. C. Howe and Rev. George Hall, the State Secretary of the Association. Mr. Hall was one of the pioneers in the early history of this organization, and his address was listened to with deep interest.

   The vocal music was under the direction of Prof. R. M. Volk, and consisted of solos by Misses Carrie D. Halbert, Mary J. Nash, Nettie Stout and May Parker, of Cortland, and Miss Stacy of Homer. Fischer’s full orchestra played throughout the evening. After the formal exercises were over, an hour was pleasantly spent socially.