The Cortland County legislature voted 18-1 today to apply for associate membership in the international Flat Earth Society. A surprising negative vote was cast by legislator Newell Willcox, who later explained why he was opposed.
"We should invite them to join us," he said. "Everything we do smacks of flat earth theory."
The Flat Earth Society promotes the continuous and consistent belief in a flat earth. It's motto is: "Veritate Victoria" or Victory in Truth.
Legislator Tony Pace was made a county delegate to the Flat Earth Discussion Board. Interviewed by Flat Earth News at the County Office Building, he stated:
"This is an honor which I appreciate and deserve. I admire 19th century lecturer Dr. Samuel Birly Rowbotham and I have read all of his writings and theories. The man was a genius."
The county legislature has a reputation for controversy. Recently the legislature hired a public defender, effectively ending one controversy by creating another.
"Our intention is to amuse and entertain voters. Serious work and accomplishment is an after-thought--some say an accident," commented a legislator who wanted to remain anonymous. "The landfill is a good example. Next, we shall tackle the hepatitis C virus and the sticky problem of free needles for drug addicts. That ought to be a howler."
For information about the Flat Earth Society, click on: www.theflatearthsociety.org
For information about Cortland County government, click on: www.cortland-co.org
Editor's note: Although we created a parody and "quoted" legislators Willcox and Pace in this post, the Cortland Contrarian acknowledges the high work ethic of both individuals and their commitment to improve the efficiency and economy of county government. They avoid procrastination and make quick decisions. One is a Republican and one is a Democrat, and both seem to recognize the need for bi-partisan progress to achieve necessary improvements in county government. Now, if the others would get in line, perhaps this parody would be unnecessary.
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