Godzilla vs. Hydrilla

     The Tompkins County legislature voted unanimously yesterday to lease from the Japanese government a working model of Godzilla to eat and destroy the invasive aquatic plant called hydrilla. An $800,000 state grant, originally intended for plant-killing chemicals, will be used to pay for the lease. Environmentalists cheered when the resolution was adopted.
     Hydrilla threatens fish life, boating and swimming at the Cayuga Lake Inlet. Recently two fishermen were thrown into the cold lake and drowned when an erupting green mass of hydrilla rose from the lake bottom and flipped their boat.
     Members of the Hydrilla Task Force persuaded the county legislature to lease a replica of the movie icon Godzilla after scientists from Cornell University dubbed the little green plant a destructive and agressive aquatic invader. A program leader of the Tompkins County Cooperative Extension warned legislators that the plant's reproductive turions were spreading unchecked.
     Scientists first suggested the introduction of sterile carp, but carp cannot be contained and isolated at the Inlet and may cause extensive habitat damage to other areas of the lake.
     Godzilla, on the other hand, has been genetically programmed to respond to emotional cries from children and adults in sinking boats, and environmentalists who cry when they see invasive plants in lake water.
     Godzilla will begin work at the Cayuga Lake Inlet on June 1. The public is invited to watch his progress and encourage his efforts. Amateur movie crews and photographers are expected. The Japanese ambassador is also expected.
     Scientists are studying a Godzilla-related environmental waste problem but a solution to dispose of Godzilla's personal waste has not been made public. It is believed that scientists are working on a disposal method called programmable odorless organic preparation. When they use the term among themselves, they distinctly emphasize each accented syllable. In everyday conversation, skeptical Ithaca residents use the acronym.


Editor's note:
For additional information about hydrilla, visit Tompkins County Cooperative Extension: http://ccetompkins.org/environment/invasive-species/fighting-hydrilla 
For information about Godzilla, visit Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godzilla.