That low-down feeling called the blues can hit you anytime. Most of us have a coping mechanism. How many people go to the nearest supermarket and read weekly tabloids and laugh out loud? I do that. People think I'm nuts, but this is my instant cure for the blues.
Where else can you read a fresh story about a guy from Toronto who attempts to eat an entire car on a $200,000 bet? He eats tires, window glass, sheet metal and upholstery. As he gnaws the engine block, he is forced to stop on the urgent advice of his doctor and dentist. They tell him that he has holes in his stomach and his teeth are ground to the gums. "If you continue, you will die." He dies anyway and loses the bet.
At the Weekly World News website, you can read what happened when realty star Bruce Jenner received a second face lift. As part of the season finale, he received Joan River's old face.
I remember characters found in the old Weekly World News--which is still found online at www.weeklyworldnews.com --such as Batboy, Cryptids and Merfolk. "Nothing but the Truth: The Weekly World News." Elvis Presley was found in the Amazon jungle, years after his death. A giant mutant hog attacked the state of Georgia. A devout Christian was attacked on the street, and he was the person fined after he was threatened by "homosexual liberals." A kid was abused by his own shadow. "Werewolf Sues Airline Over Flight Delay."
Introducing "Batboy Lives!" Sal Ivone, former managing editor of WWN said: "If someone calls me up and says their toaster is talking to them, I don't refer them to professional help, I say 'Put the toaster on the phone'." See this comment and more weird details at Wikipedia.
A WWN competitor, The Sun, published the same weird stuff with a disclaimer: "Suspend Belief for the Sake of Enjoyment."
Famous headlines grab my attention too. On April 15, 1983, the New York Post published: Headless Body in Topless Bar--Gunman Forces Woman to Decapitate Tavern Owner. I laughed at the headline but found the story gruesome.
Back to Weekly World News, my favorite. Bible satires and fantastic medical cures were stock in trade. In one story I found the character P'lod, an extraterrestial who got involved in earth politics and had an affair with Hillary Clinton. Miss Adventure, a gay American hero who fought Drag-u-la and the mob. Lastly, SpyCat, a comic character who spoke nine different languages, including Persian and "dog," and was armed with "AdamWestium" claws and a cat-of-nine-tails.
Suspend belief. Bust the blues.
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