JUDGE SMITH FORGOT TO TELL THE EEL STORY

Jacob S. Fassett.

The Cortland Democrat, Friday, October 23, 1891.

TOWN REPORTS.

SCOTT.

   Melissa Frisbie, daughter of George M. Frisbie, died the 5th inst., aged 43 years.

   Ernest W. Childs has purchased of Lora Green the old homestead. Consideration $4,000.

   George Winchester has bought of Mrs. Slocum the house and lot now occupied by Henry Brown. Consideration $500.

   Having some desire to learn of the issues of this campaign from a Republican standpoint and to view the new Fassett [Republican candidate for governor—CC editor], we attended the Republican gathering at the [Cortland] Opera House the 14th inst. The house seemed quite well filled, but darkness seemed to settle upon the congregation at first so thick as to be almost oppressive. We spoke to friend Colegrove about it; and asked him if he did not think it ominous of Republican defeat, but he thought although it was dark now, the Republicans would rally and "get there Eli," but after a little, some one must have turned on the Fassett, for the curtain flew back and the light gleamed in. Soon the performance commenced. Hon. A. P. Smith [ex-county judge and civil war veteran—CC editor] was elected chairman of the meeting, with a long list of worthies as vice-presidents, to which was added we should judge twenty or twenty-five secretaries to keep the minutes of the meeting. After some music the chairman got up and proceeded to make a speech, which was a funny one as usual. He was evidently embarrassed and so forgot to tell the eel story. He said this campaign is to be the opening wedge of the Presidential campaign of 1892 that; whether our standard bearer should be the honest man who now occupies the White House (silence) or that illustrious statesman James G. Blaine. (Tremendous cheering for some time.) We fell to musing why the silence over the mention of Harrison and the outburst over Blaine. We came to the conclusion that the word "honest" as applied to Harrison was an unfortunate one as the politicians seek not such to worship or exalt. The enthusiasm over Blaine we concluded might be over his disposition to extend civilization by enlarging our "Beer trade"' and introducing it into Spanish America.

  After music Mr. Fassett was introduced. We had heard him spoken of as such an electrifying speaker that we must say that we were disappointed. He said some good, commonplace things, but his speech could not be called one of ability or brilliant. Mr. Yrooman was the next speaker. He suited us the best of all. He gave some very good advice upon some points; he also spoke highly of the modern Fassett. Next was the letting loose of Col. Baxter. When his name was announced we thought of the book entitled "Baxter's Call to the Unconverted," and thought whether he could be the man who made that call; but when he called out to the Republicans present to do their darndest in this campaign, we gave up that idea, and judging by the applause in response we concluded some of them will endeavor to obey the call. His speech was devoid of argument in the main, but full of fun and praise for the Fassett new on exhibition. He said the Republicans wanted a man of pluck and Fassett had got it in abundance, and he went on at some length to prove it. We have all heard of the plucky boy, who, finding a big boy pummeling a little one, took the little one's part and had a bloody fight with the large boy in consequence. Baxter said that plucky boy was Fassett. He also said that Fassett bluffed down a schoolmaster at one time. He said that Fassett while in N. Y. city undertook to uncover some of the rottenness of Tammany Hall and there came up such a stench as to cause angels to weep and the man in the moon to hold his nose. He also told it for a fact and said Fassett's father had vouched for the truth of it, that young Fassett was so bold and plucky that he actually came into this cold and dreary world perfectly naked without even stockings upon his tender feet. Those who were present must have noticed that the top of his head is nearly naked yet. The speaker also quoted the words of an enthusiastic Irishman who said, "Fassett was the pluckiest little cuss he ever see." For native talent as an orator Baxter was the best of the three. In all the speaking not a word was said about temperance, prohibition, high license or tariff, only to say that they would discuss the tariff next year. The burning issue of to-day was stated to be "Tammany Hall" and they must fight it to the finish. Why not burn the old Hall and settle this matter?

   Three years ago at the last election of Governor, Warner Miller, the Republican candidate, visited nearly every county in the state extolling and preaching high license as a temperance measure. He was defeated; and then the temperance men who were deluded into voting for him had the satisfaction of reading a published statement from him to the effect that he did not expect to be elected but hoped to pull through Gen. Harrison by keeping down the prohibition vote. You remember he received a sympathetic letter from Harrison after the battle, alluding to the fact that he (Miller) had fallen outside the breastworks, and the poor fellow has lain there ever since, and high license seems to have died with him.

   The leaders dare not take it up again. What the next issue will be no one can guess, but something must be found for each occasion; the more trivial the more desirable seemingly. Now as for ourselves we have plenty of Flour [Roswell Flower, Democratic candidate for governor--CC editor], and for a Fassett we have no use, but as we feel at the present hour, our vote shall be for J. W. Bruce.

   TEMPERANCE. [pen name of local correspondent.]

EAST HOMER.

   Miss Blanche Rose is home again for a few weeks.

   Mr. Earl Denick, of Syracuse, is visiting at W. W. Briggs.'

   Born—Oct. 8th, to Mr. and Mrs. Frank Rowe, a daughter.

   Died—At his home near this place, Oct. 17th, Herbert Goff, aged 42 years.

   Dame rumor says wedding bells will be chiming in East Homer in the near future.

   Mr. John Rose and daughter Lizzie, of Scranton, are visiting relatives in this place.

   Mrs. Benjamin Bennett, of Syracuse, is spending a few days at Mr. Marvin Burnham's.

   Mrs. John Young is very sick with typhoid fever. Dr. Gazley of Cortland attends her.

   There were but very few from this place attended the great Republican blow-out at Cortland last week.

   Mr. Marvin Burnham, who has been sick for a week past with pneumonia, is reported as doing well. Dr. J. C. Nelson of Truxton attends him.

   Mr. Fassett has been very Slo—at finding out that the Tammany tiger with the terrible paw and capacious jaw and insatiable maw is about to devour the whole State of New York. Poor Fassett! Wonder if Jones pays the freight?

   UNCLE SI.

John McGraw.

TRUXTON.

   Dr. Neary and wife of Union Valley were in town Sunday.

   Miss Hattie Mather of Vermont is visiting at John Connic's.

   "Con" Lansing speared an eel that weighed 5 1/2 pounds.

   Mrs. Wm. Short of New Jersey and Mrs. Albert Pierce are visiting at Frank Hilton's.

   Last Sunday Drs. Nelson and Van Hoesen of this place, and Dwinelle of Tully performed a surgical operation on a son of Patrick Gleason of Cuyler.

   Last Tuesday Charlie Bosworth was taken very sick. He was at his brother's in Marathon. A telegram was sent to his wife and she took the first train for that place. We haven't heard anything later.

   About 3 weeks ago Mrs. Maxson missed one of her hens. The other day Mrs. M. thought to use an old wooden bucket which was standing near the house, and as she started to lift it the hoops came off, the starves fell apart, and out popped the long-lost hen.

   John McGraw arrived in town Tuesday. John left here last April under an engagement to play with the base ball club of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He staid with the Iowa boys a month or two and was then bought off by a club called the "All America,' with which he went to Cuba. Last August he became a member of the Baltimore club which now stands third in the American Association, and we understand he has signed to play with the Baltimores next season at $250 per month.

HERE AND THERE.

   Register to-morrow. It is the last day.

   There is to be a prayer meeting at Eli Stafford's, Friday evening, at 7:30, 110 Groton Ave.

   The Chautauqua Circle will meet with Mrs. G. H. Squires, No. 7 Homer Ave., Monday evening Oct. 26th.

   Pennington's Air Ship machine is taking a rest, but the Air Ship Waltz, by Doles, will travel to every city and town in the United States.

   Dr. F. H. Higgins has improved his house on Lincoln Ave. by a large piazza, and is still adding to it by a coat of paint in bright colors.

   The Prohibitionists are to hold a mass meeting next Wednesday evening in the Opera House, which will be addressed by John P. St. John.

   The scholars in the Owego-street school are contributing money to pay for a pair of crutches for little Edith Williams, whose leg was amputated recently in consequence of an injury to the knee joint.

   The Commissioners in the matter of the new road laid out recently, in this town, have assessed the damages [tax] as follows: Lorenzo Coonradt, $37.50; Valentine estate, $35.00; McMahon estate, $15.00; Samantha Davis, $5.00.—Marathon Independent.

   Last Saturday was the first day for registering the names of voters. In the nine polling places in this town the registers show the following: District No. 1, 463; No. 2, 427; No. 3, 414; No. 4, 389; No. 5, 283; No. 6, 443; No. 7, 412; No. 8, 430. No. 9, 486; total 3,747.

   On Saturday last, as Miss Myrtle Davis of Messengerville attempted to get out of a wagon in front of Pulford's drug store in this village, her dress caught upon the break handle, and she pitched forward, falling upon her face, on the sidewalk, with her full force. As a result of the fall, two front teeth of the upper jaw were knocked out, and the lower lip badly lacerated.—Marathon Independent.

   The "Odd Fellows' Grand March" and the "Air Ship Waltz" are two of the latest compositions of Isaac Doles, 234 West Michigan St., Indianapolis, Ind. Both are musical gems. They comprise five pages each, sheet music size, besides illustrated title pages, not difficult in execution but beautiful in composition, and sell at 40c. each. By way of introduction Mr. Doles will mail them to any address on receipt of 10 cents each when accompanied by this notice.

   Willie O'Brien lives with his parents on Arthur avenue, and is thirteen years of age. Last week he made up his mind to go west and be a cowboy. He managed to tie his spare clothes in a bundle and get them out of the house and then hid the bundle under a pile of shingles on John Long's premises, where Mr. Long found them early next morning. Chief Sager was notified and the clothes were returned to Willie's parents. Willie has decided not to become a cowboy, but will read law instead.